Let's Get Real

I think that it's time I got real not just with people who follow my blog but for myself.  I have never been more excited or felt more driven than I have since figuring out that I want to dedicate my life to helping women and girls empower themselves by focusing on their minds,  bodies and souls.  I literally wake up excited to take on each day! I am buying books left and right and for the first time in my life I am one of those people that can read 3 to 5 at a time because I want to learn as much as I can and as soon as I can.  I have planned out my calendar for the next year as far as what further schooling I need as well as what certifications I need to obtain in order to do this job fully.  I've started a pilot group of clients and I am trying to figure out things I am doing well and things I need to improve upon in order to truly help others.  None of this is easy, a lot of it scares the crap out of me honestly, but man am I passionate about it and all of it feels right.

But then there is this other side, the side I have been hiding, the side that I have been trying to avoid and put in its own little box.  I believe in other people and their willingness and ability to change and yet I have a hard time believing in me.  I've made this declaration that I want to help empower girls and women the world over and yet I am having a hard time empowering myself!  Since I've made this decision it is almost as though I have been working really hard to achieve my professional dreams and goals while at the same time silently sabotaging myself.  However, it is within this journey of pursuing my profession that I am finally really learning about myself, not anyone else's version of me!  This part is what scares the crap out of me.  In all my other jobs I have been able to have professional Kelli and personal Kelli.  They didn't cross nor did they have to.  Now, there are of course things about professional Kelli that you see on the personal side and vice versa but really I was able to live out two lives if you will.  I am quickly learning that when you have found your true passion, your calling in life, it is your whole being that is involved.  There is no room for two sides.  It is all of you!  HOLY CRAP!!

You know what though, I am so thankful that I am on this journey and that I am finally opening my eyes to me so that way I can do what I am meant to be doing.